eyes closed
tight
with the warmth of
her body
press'd firm against mine.
still miles between us
still hours
in time.
the din of the fan
the heat
the train
are like voices
singing lullabies
when sleep will not
and cannot come.
fleeting moments
provide nightmares
to accompany
desolate feelings.
memories
that have been erased
still felt.
another argument.
there will be
no good dreams
tonight.
10.31.13 (dreaming)
red leaves
on trees
grace space
round me
as time
still slips
through fragile
memories
the scent
of flowers
jars me from
my dream
through time
still fragile
no ghost
haunts me
9.26.13 (the fireflies dance no more)
those flowers
i spoke too
told me to wait
for early mourning dew
past drunken hours
spent, curled in knots
through withered mem'ry
long forgot
summer's end
the fireflies dance no more
the air it chills
round the step of my door
but light, still, dances
'cross the wooden floor
those flowers, now wilted
remind of words spoken before
i spoke too
told me to wait
for early mourning dew
past drunken hours
spent, curled in knots
through withered mem'ry
long forgot
summer's end
the fireflies dance no more
the air it chills
round the step of my door
but light, still, dances
'cross the wooden floor
those flowers, now wilted
remind of words spoken before
7.11.13 (Mutt)
Ugly
But honest:
Words part lips
Like fountains,
Spouting fourth
Uncontrolled.
Cauterized words
Grow like mold.
Like filth forgotten
In sidestreet gutters,
Forget the words
Those lips once uttered.
4.29.13 (passed)
clearing the webs
from closets
filled
with memories
past.
dusting cloudy dreams,
returning the
gleam
of days
past.
gazing
through freckled speckled
eyes
to a time
past.
a drink of coffee
to help remember
that that time
is passed.
from closets
filled
with memories
past.
dusting cloudy dreams,
returning the
gleam
of days
past.
gazing
through freckled speckled
eyes
to a time
past.
a drink of coffee
to help remember
that that time
is passed.
4.24.13 (slowpin)
So maybe
you've been feeling
What you've been told
But not what you heard
Maybe you've been told
That you have done wrong.
Time itself is infinite
And so are you
Because I exist in memory
and so do you
you've been feeling
What you've been told
But not what you heard
Maybe you've been told
That you have done wrong.
Time itself is infinite
And so are you
Because I exist in memory
and so do you
4.16.13 (expectations)
You want everything
But I can only give you
The little I have to offer.
You say, "that's ok,"
Only to ask for more
and I can only upset you
Because I do not have more.
But I can only give you
The little I have to offer.
You say, "that's ok,"
Only to ask for more
and I can only upset you
Because I do not have more.
4.15.13 (been)
Take these chains
You've held them long enough
To act so selfish
In the sad face of love.
Instead you request
That which I cannot give
Something none allow:
A forbidden friendship.
Nor do I desire,
To be your confidant,
Yet still you persist and
Insist I be what I am not.
Still, I cannot say
I am devoid of you:
With your certain presence
There is little I can do.
And unto this do I wait
For time to untie
The bonds you've long unraveled,
Made to suffer for your own right.
You've held them long enough
To act so selfish
In the sad face of love.
Instead you request
That which I cannot give
Something none allow:
A forbidden friendship.
Nor do I desire,
To be your confidant,
Yet still you persist and
Insist I be what I am not.
Still, I cannot say
I am devoid of you:
With your certain presence
There is little I can do.
And unto this do I wait
For time to untie
The bonds you've long unraveled,
Made to suffer for your own right.
4.15.13 (from cracks)
The paupers
And poor
Emerge from
Cracks in the floor
And proceed to
My door
To say
Hello.
They ask if
I've money
Or time
I could spare
And tell of
The reasons
I cannot share.
But ears
Go blind
And eyes
Go deaf
When without
Each other
There is nothing left.
And poor
Emerge from
Cracks in the floor
And proceed to
My door
To say
Hello.
They ask if
I've money
Or time
I could spare
And tell of
The reasons
I cannot share.
But ears
Go blind
And eyes
Go deaf
When without
Each other
There is nothing left.
4.15.13 (progress)
Pain
Is like progress;
Necessary for
Change,
Helpful
In ways.
In times
Beneath pain's
burden
Appreciation grows
For life
Devoid.
But pain soon
Returns,
Like cold city rain
And cities
Progress
Like life
In this way
Is like progress;
Necessary for
Change,
Helpful
In ways.
In times
Beneath pain's
burden
Appreciation grows
For life
Devoid.
But pain soon
Returns,
Like cold city rain
And cities
Progress
Like life
In this way
4.15.13 (dissolute)
Days
Defeated
Time dissolving
Like effervescents
Still time.
Moments escape
Lost in haze
Daze
Dissolved.
Luke warm
Time
Pours over
Still
Waiting for time
And time waits
For you.
Defeated
Time dissolving
Like effervescents
Still time.
Moments escape
Lost in haze
Daze
Dissolved.
Luke warm
Time
Pours over
Still
Waiting for time
And time waits
For you.
4.13.13 (scent/sense)
I put on my jacket today
And I smelled you.
I smelled all of the little things
That I like about you.
I thought of a moment
When we weren't one, but two
And even now, with us sepArate
Do I still long for you.
And I smelled you.
I smelled all of the little things
That I like about you.
I thought of a moment
When we weren't one, but two
And even now, with us sepArate
Do I still long for you.
4.10.13 (4:00 AM)
I wanted
To rid myself
Of early mourning's
Regret.
I wanted
Your name
In itself
To fold under it.
I wanted the letters
Removed from my head.
I wanted a tombstone
left to honor it.
Remember what was lost
But even now as I sit
I still kind of wish I could
Forget.
To rid myself
Of early mourning's
Regret.
I wanted
Your name
In itself
To fold under it.
I wanted the letters
Removed from my head.
I wanted a tombstone
left to honor it.
Remember what was lost
But even now as I sit
I still kind of wish I could
Forget.
4.13.13 (logic)
The logical
Part of me
Hates
The emotional
Part of me
Because
Without logic
My noose
Would long be at hand
But without
Emotion
I would already
be dead.
Part of me
Hates
The emotional
Part of me
Because
Without logic
My noose
Would long be at hand
But without
Emotion
I would already
be dead.
4.8.2013 (spring's end)
at spring's end
summer begins.
flowers will die
and be born again.
so to
do the
hazy days start,
and time again
will begin too
slow.
4.7.13 (thinking)
i long
to watch the fog
roll from the mountains
with tall trees and
sun dancing o'er the hills.
i long for my solitude,
my time spent in thought.
even so,
with longing in my bones
i can smile
with thoughts
of georgia instead.
to watch the fog
roll from the mountains
with tall trees and
sun dancing o'er the hills.
i long for my solitude,
my time spent in thought.
even so,
with longing in my bones
i can smile
with thoughts
of georgia instead.
4.7.13 (slight)
flowers,
not yet,
for april
still holds
many
showers
for them
to bloom.
that doorstep
was haunting,
like the ghost
that would not
leave my side.
i saw
the green light
across the way
and though i
longed to,
i could not,
because
to have stood
in the way
i would have
destroyed
someone else,
and though
i would have
loved to,
it was easier
to destroy myself.
not yet,
for april
still holds
many
showers
for them
to bloom.
that doorstep
was haunting,
like the ghost
that would not
leave my side.
i saw
the green light
across the way
and though i
longed to,
i could not,
because
to have stood
in the way
i would have
destroyed
someone else,
and though
i would have
loved to,
it was easier
to destroy myself.
1.28.13 (rain scent)
erasing memories
but remembering pain.
learning from decisions
made into mistakes.
forgetting times past
eager for those to come.
one year spent in limbo
a chance to find a new home.
loss in some senses
friendships diluted.
gone for now
not returning soon.
but remembering pain.
learning from decisions
made into mistakes.
forgetting times past
eager for those to come.
one year spent in limbo
a chance to find a new home.
loss in some senses
friendships diluted.
gone for now
not returning soon.
1.28.13 (breathing flora)
no loss
to take these arms
and lift them
from this bed of flowers.
her breath
carried on fragrant leaves
across state lines
to my ear.
smiles for words
exchanged through wavelengths
of cellular phones
spreading to our faces.
distance;
separated by space and time
but together in memory
together now in hearts.
to take these arms
and lift them
from this bed of flowers.
her breath
carried on fragrant leaves
across state lines
to my ear.
smiles for words
exchanged through wavelengths
of cellular phones
spreading to our faces.
distance;
separated by space and time
but together in memory
together now in hearts.
1.14.13 (building)
strange
the longing
i feel in my bones
not lying
next to you.
my eyes
had been clouded
but cleared
with you.
i was careful,
frightened,
anxious.
i still am,
a bit,
but not so much.
your eyes, smile,
make this heart
feel at home.
your voice, laugh,
warm my bones.
thank you.
the longing
i feel in my bones
not lying
next to you.
my eyes
had been clouded
but cleared
with you.
i was careful,
frightened,
anxious.
i still am,
a bit,
but not so much.
your eyes, smile,
make this heart
feel at home.
your voice, laugh,
warm my bones.
thank you.
1.10.13 (pity the pitied)
Stomach quakes
With the violatile combination
Of uneasiness and drinks,
Of anxiety and nostalgia,
Of hope and hunger.
Thoughts flow like wine
In glasses drank
And regretted in the mourn.
Another pit to cry out of
Or to climb out, arms swinging
At each who approaches.
1.10.13 (clues)
Grey afternoon
Cold, feeling
Brooding days
Past.
If a wish
To be forgotten
Is a wish
Not to be forgotten
Am I wishing
For too much?
1.3.13 (resolutions)
Drink less,
Smile more.
Sometimes rich,
Usually poor.
Tired always,
Sometimes sore.
In my bed,
Or on the floor.
Faint memory,
Fond feeling.
Forever engraved,
On my heart's ceiling.
Nights alone,
Can't complain.
It comes and goes:
Time, like rain.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)