11.06.19 (rotten)

I wish sobriety

Had a bigger effect

On the ways I feel.

Sure, the feelings become

Quite a bit less

Intense,

And I don’t feel quite as

Rotten.

Still, the feelings linger

And it almost feels worse

To know they’re always

There in my head.

At least when i drink

There are moments

Of respite,

Regardless of how long.

I am still in love

With a memory.

I am still failing

To move on.

I am still struggling

To get out of bed each day.

11.01.19 (thinning)

Thinning out,

In time

I realized

That i have grown

Calloused,

And the words

That leave my lips

Are echoes of a person

I once was.

Like a specter,

I move about;

A hollow vision

Of a love that once was.