11.9.11 unraveled

i've taken up a new hobby

thats crying myself to sleep

there are some lonely secrets that i carry

and some i wish to keep

there are some i wish to share

and there are some that will escape

and if you listen closely

you'll see you share a fate

to be found and lost again

found by a jealous traveler

she sleeps quiet next to me

as i slowly unravel her

i do no not know what these things are

these lonesome things that i've come to feel

like the fabrications of my brain

i do not know if this is real

i will allow you to leave me

leave me barren and cold

but remember who unraveled you

when you are sick and old

10.3.11 (last goodbye)

ANOTHER DAY

SAME OLD THING

THE SAME FUCKING LIFE

IN THE SAME FUCKING WAY

BUT YOU TRY

YOU TRY TO CLAIM

THAT YOU ARE GOING

TO CHANGE YOUR WAYS

ANOTHER NIGHT

ANOTHER DRINK

JUST ANOTHER FUCKING REASON

FOR YOU NOT TO THINK

SO TAKE ANOTHER

SIP OF YOUR DRINK

YEAH TAKE YOUR FUCKING TIME

AS YOU FUCKING SINK

YES WE ALL KNOW

THAT IT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER

WE KNOW IT MAKES YOU NUMB

MAKES YOU FORGET HER

YEAH, BUT YOU KNOW

THAT THAT'S A LIE

JUST ANOTHER STUPID REASON

FOR YOU TO DIE

ANOTHER NIGHT

ANOTHER FUCKING DRINK

IT'S JUST ANOTHER STUPID FUCKING REASON

FOR YOU TO NOT THINK

FOR YOU TO NOT THINK

FOR YOU TO NOT THINK

9.15.11 (library)

i see a man

staring

at his reflection;

a dirty glass window

reflecting

a dirty man

i see his eyes

tired

sad

exhausted

staring at the eyes

staring back from the glass

i see him look closer

examing the

blemishes

and scars

that occupy his face

sad

tired

exhausted

i see the man look

once more

then i realized i've walked too far

and turn back

9.15.11 (someday)

i came to visit her

i think as i stare

from the window of the library

watching raindrops

fall

is it fall?

fail

i guess i did

i wanted time

i figured

someday

but now theres another

and its someday

fall?

i guess i did

someday

9.12.11 (poem on a plane)

Everyone thinks they're an artist;

the gold and the gritty,

the fat and the pretty.

Everyone wants to be heard;

listen, I say, I will tell you the truth:

we've all lost what drew us to art.

Limitless inspiration has turned to dust;

fleeting moments between coffee and coke.

Some would like to think otherwise, phonies.

The battle is long lost.

Everyone wants to believe they are different;

everyone wants to be an artist.

9.5.11 (onward)

this world is a cold dark place

no matter what we always want to leave someday

but when you run and try to hide

theres still a hunger you can't satisfy

so you look for something to fill the void

yeah, another face to be your toy

i know that someday i will die

and i hope that on that day someone will cry

as sure as the sun will shine and set

i know there will be things i'd like to forget

well i'll just have to learn to live with regrets

there was a time i would have died for you

i would have done everything that i possibly could do

but you surround yourself with other's troubles

and when you've got plenty of your own, the weight just doubles

and then you dive right into another struggle

just another problem on your plate for you to juggle

i know i tried to care for yours and mine

i sure hope i did the best with all that time

and i know every day won't be the best

but i know that there will always be a next

and so i guess i'll just have to learn to live with regrets

8.10.11 (revenge)

tardy nice girl

late to notice

blank on most days

but you know this

moving on

i'm moving out

quick to leave

quicker to scream and shout

another love begins

and so another life

i can't support you

although i try

and i can't help it if i find myself

hoping for the worst for you

i've tried to be supportive

like a kind persons supposed to do

i mean, its not that i hate you

i just don't love you anymore

a reign of silence

and yet i'm glad

moving on to

the best times i've ever had

full of friends

days so full of fun

on the road

and in the sun

but i've not forgotten

the tardy nice girl

who ripped right through me

and through my world

and i can't help it if i find myself

hoping for the worst for you

i've tried to be supportive

like a kind persons supposed to do

i mean, its not that i hate you

i just don't love you anymore

8.10.11 (regret)

staring out into nothing

eyes wide, on the open sky

looking out, looking back, looking forward for something

a place, a time; another life: a memory

but its gone, so far away

in the middle of the night, i am wide awake

so many times, i wish i'd stayed

forever doubting the choices i've made

a thousand times along the way

i've let some other fill these hazy days

should i be worried, should i be sad?

that it's these lonely dreams i always have

maybe someday

maybe someday

maybe someday

8.10.11 (remorse)

i should have seen it coming

its happened so many times before

i've never been very good at playing games

but i haven't got the nerve to end them

these calloused hands do copulate

its always something about

the way the way the way the way the way the way

and it continues till the sour end

when we admit we are no longer friends

another time, another game i've played

a word of apology, i can never say

but weeks go by, and now another says

its something about

the way the way the way the way the way the way

3.20.11 (low)

i'm not feeling very nice today

i don't want to speak a word to a single face

no, i don't feel like talking, just getting away

i need to just get out of this place

i'm sick of seeing all the wrong people

sick of the rats, the snakes, and the weasels

i'm starting to think i made the wrong choice

as i comb my thoughts, searching for my voice

i guess i probably should not go back home

i mean, maybe i really am better off alone

or maybe i'll just go to a place that i don't know

i guess it won't matter when i've turned to stone