5.15.12 (going)

i'm going.
i'm going to leave this.
i'm going to leave you.
i'm going to take what is left
of what i cared about.
i'm going to the mountains.
i'm going to the rivers.
i'm going as far from myself as i can,
and i'm going to leave that too.
i'm going to be gone.
i'm going to be something else,
something more.
i'm going to be back,
but not too soon.

5.15.12 (running)

hiding.
longer hours
in this
cave.
wishing
time
to
stop.
another
hour
of dreams
of nightmares.
another hour
in this bed.
i tried
to sleep
the day
through,
but i kept
waking up
frightened.

5.13.12 (cold nites)

looking forward
and peering
inward.
more days
aloft,
adrift.
lost among
wayward thoughts,
but
collected
all the same.
familiar,
with this,
but unacquainted
with familiarity.
another mourning
another night.

5.12.12 (less)

is this
even worth
noting?
should we even
try
and make things
worthwhile?
another day,
naturally,
but i
feel
less.
i wish that
we had
one day less
for one day less
i cared.

5.12.12 (hell)

hell
is
day
to day.
hell
is this.
hell
is current
and past.
hell is
everywhere.
hell
is
us.

5.12.12 (haha)

distrust,
distaste.
i am guilty,
and so are
you.
this all
hurts.
this all
feels like
hell.
we have
built a castle
of twigs
only to watch it
wither
and fall
under the weight
of us all.

5.12.12 (negative)

i hate this.
the negativity
that flows
through everyone.
i hate
that i come
home
and
am disappointed
that i woke up.
these people
claim
to send out
positivity
but this all feels
damp
with
awful
energy
and i feel weak
under it's spell.

5.9.12 (scared)

the future
is scary.
strange,
it is just
what is to come,
not really
to relive the
terrors
of days past,
but to find
something
unseen before
and really
live.
that is
fear.
to live through
something
we have yet
to confront.
how scary
tomorrow
has become.

5.9.12 (for you)

i am
your accomplice.
i am
your advocate.
i want you
to succeed.
i want you
to be happy.
whether it is
relevant
to me
or not,
i want everything
for you.

5.6.12 (angels)

i don't want
to be nice
to everyone.
it doesn't
seem right.
it isn't a
matter
of being fair,
but more
of saving
what is good
for the few
friends
that are as
angels.