1.15.10 (slightly hopeful)

we try and we try
to make use of what's inside
but we look towards the past
and lose sight of what we have
with so much to look down upon
so much we can frown upon
it's easy to feel we've failed
but there's still a sun in the sky
and there's still you and i
and there will always be much more
that's worth smiling for

12/13/09 (nervous/sorry/sad/mad)

chew my nails down to the bone because i know that i'm still alone and i am heading back to my home i'm heading back to the cold these are the days it never rains, but it pours far from you, far from where it's warm i want you back each day more and more but i know that's not what i've got in store i don't want to leave i want you here with me but i don't think that will ever be

12.01.09 (going home)

if i bury my heart
in the sand
will it sprout up
whole again
will it learn
again to love
if i water
it enough
if i buy fertilizer
from the nearest
drug store
will it be stronger?
will i feel more?
you've torn it apart
with your
contagious broken heart
but i don't
hold it against you
i know your intentions
really were true
and as january
slowly nears
it all becomes
kind of clear
while this has been
a wild ride
i have tried
and tried and tried
and so time
kind of slows
as my heart
grows and grows
and i really
miss the snow
i want to be cold

11/14/09 (taking it for granted)

the world is a beautiful, ugly place we're an ungrateful, greedy, selfish race we take our lives for granted we're a fucking disgrace! we've got all the time (in the world) to ruin our lives but we ruin each others instead we fuck and destroy our heads billions of dying hearts and even more being torn apart drunk driving fucks running out of luck today is the day we all die

10/15/09 (silly sad song about what was to come)

i am a tailor of the saddest kind because the things that i create will never be mine a life of leisure a love so true a family, a career and to sail the ocean blue my hopes and dreams i sew and weave my plots and schemes i stitch and conceive but to no avail i am doomed, i am cursed, i am fated to always fail so i keep on dredging on through the night and with each passing day i construct another plight another aspiration! cursed with misfortune! but you my dear, will be my biggest disappointment because you fooled me to think i could be loved when i couldn't i could have called this from the start, but i didn't