3.20.19 (manic)

This pain is unlike others
I’ve felt many before
This loss feels different
A world remains shattered

Cry for hours
Feel no reprieve
Hundreds of letters
Lay still, torn to pieces

A union unsettled
Forced apart by my pain
Unable to speak it
These words still remain

See misguided phrases/feelings
Atop unfettered fear
Imagining all our sustenance  
Slowly disappear 

Move one step at a time
Still three steps two slow
I’m diving backwards 
Still, forwards you grow 

I try to remember 
All the times I went wrong
I’m guilty I’m selfish 
I’ve lost all I’d want

Words ring hollow
A forced friendship
You’re seeing someone new
And I’ll stay stuck in wait

Forever means forever
Or maybe for a while
I said what I meant
Irrelevant 

There is a feeling
An emptiness unmatched
Try to dull the pain
Drink till I forget 

 

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