i do not like this.
i was so sure
that leaving would be
the ultimate cure.
longing, unsettled,
still very present.
feelings:persistent,
thoughts: intermittent,
get me away from here.
but i don't want to go,
and i don't want to stay,
so i spend my time
forgetting things
and losing my mind.
another drink,
to get away,
but my bed awaits,
while my thoughts
still run astray,
and i end up
in the same place.
this is a cycle,
a whirl of us,
my only way out
at the bottom of a flask.
but do not worry,
i am sure too,
this cannot last.
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