06.14.19 (thoughts on Armageddon)

 I hate thinking that if I’m to die right now your’s is the first face I’d see and the first voice I’d hear contemplating my fate. I hate thinking that if I were in an elevator plummeting down I’d think of the time I spent with you. I hate that I think that if I were in a plane diving towards the earth I’d think of you and how much I’d like to yell I love you. I hate that if someone were to try and take my life, I’d likely go willingly knowing it’s a life without you. I know it’s all pain but I know it’s real, you no longer love me in any romantic way, just feel guilty. My heart shatters, but maybe someday we’ll be friends. Remember that tarot you got, said we’d be close in our thirties? Not sure I’ll make it that far. Worth a shot though.