04.11.19 (darkness)

This neverending
Circus:
A cycle
Of destruction
And rebirth. 
Researching the limits of
How deep into the pits
I can survive.
I never asked for immortality,
I never asked for forever;
But I haven’t died yet
And this sure as fuck 
Feels like forever. 

I’m tired of
Puking and crying.
I’m tired 
Of all of it really. 
Sobriety is 
The light at the end of this
Dark fucking cavern
I’ve been drudging through, 
And I can’t tell whether I want
To sprint towards it
Or flee back to 
The darkness. 

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