04.30.19 (trouble)

It’s funny for me to think of how we dealt with separation. I was still losing my mind, yours was lost. You got a fresh start, while mine went deeper. I admit I couldn’t help when I needed to, but at least I didn’t give up on you. I waited when you left, for signals in the sand. Maybe something to say you still believed in me. But no words came and you scorned when I worried, never thought you could give up on me. 

Now friends seems forced, feels more like a burden. I never asked for this, but it’s what’s been given. You moved on, didn’t mean what was written. The only future I saw was one where we were together in it. 

Disorder is normal but somehow this is different. I think of you often, I think often of division. Life will pick up, the divide will thicken. Life it goes on, but it’s no good if you’re not in it.

Maybe I’m kiddin, I don’t know what to say. Didn’t know where life’d lead, but I didn’t think it’d be this way. Trouble is a lonesome town, boy am I lonely. Guess I’ll go to sleep, wake up, try it again.