3.17.12

i don't even want to pretend like this is going to be something, because it's not, and i know i'm too drunk to begin to pretend that this is something and i have work tomorrow and i am not going because i am pretty sure i am going to puke soon because i ate very little and drank very much and am now burping and singing with fake blues feeling pretty rotten because i am pretty selfish and pretty silly and i want to be able to be motivated again, but it's so hard at this point that it's driving me mad and i can't really read what i'm typing anymore but i want you to know that if you're still reading this that i am very very very very very grateful because you make this one hundred thousand times more worth it than i could explain and suddenly any tears i may shed become droplets among rivers and seas because you all mean the world to me.