3.2.12 (first drunk thoughts after a week of not drinking and i wish i hadn't drank, but i'm glad i did or else i wouldn't have put into words how i feel at this exact moment in time)

i've got too many thoughts

running round my brain

i've been told they aren't bad

but i don't quite feel the same

they play tricks on me

through the day into night

i end up so confused

i end up so full of fright

the endless scheming

plotting out another life

it gets so tiresome

when things are black & white

i've tried so hard

to not pay attention to

the endless numbers

of troubles that haunt you

but i know i still

succumb in the same way

to the trials and boredoms

we must rise above and stay.

but i cannot help it

if i grow distracted by

an unrivaled beauty

some personal surprise

because i never see it coming

i never know what to expect

but i expect more lonesome longing

or else i cannot accept

a future more bright than now

one capable of real life

but i know that it is out there

so until then i will try